世界末日？The End Of The World?

最近全部人都热烈的讨论世界末日的话题
今天是 20 December 2012 了,
明天就是 世界末日 咯
很多人都会问朋友，家人或自己，

   “如果明天真的是世界末日，你会做些什么吗？”

也许有些会玩玩下的回答，可是如果明天真的是世界末日的话，
你又会做什么，说些什么呢？

我也很认真地问过我自己，
我当然不想明天就是世界末日，
可是如果是的话，
很想跟家人 说说话 吃最后的一餐

然后，也很想 谈恋爱 :) ♥
很想知道那种感觉 ，真真地 恋爱
接吻，牵手，有人关心，有人疼，有人陪
真的很想跟他一起 看戏 吃饭 聊天 听歌 还有很多的
虽然这些，朋友都能做得到 可是，
我的朋友 是 做不到！
当我真的很难受，很孤单，很痛的时候，
真的一个朋友都不在我身边，我说了我不开心 不想一个人 很想出去
说了问了 不懂及多次了，可是他们却没理会
也许 我是不重要把? or i'm always invisible.. :)

我以为习惯就可以了 反正都 8 或 9 年了，
我改习惯下一个人的生活，

可是我不能 我很怕一个人的生活
所以常常听歌，让我觉得 不孤单 :)
但这帮不到什么。

所以我很想 在世界末日还没来的时候 ，
很认真地 去爱一个人，去谈恋爱 :)

i dont want to die so fast haha!
i havent Kiss before , havent get married, havent have my own career family and babies.

那你们呢？
有真真地去想过吗？


p/s : seriously la, impossible got so little things only lo!
i hope to go travel too! Japan! Paris! or anywhere ! TAIWAN too :)
and i'm curious about my STPM result /.\ LOL
i also wanna meet JAY in person! get his signature and TAKE PHOTO WITH HIM!!!!!! ♥ 

there is just too many things i havent try before and i hope i can do all this before i mati XD

should sleep now! Bye!

BTW, 杰伦 的新歌 超好听的 ♥  ！MELTING! ♥

I go dream now better /.\ since all these quite impossible :(
Bye!

Love?

Its been quite a time since i last update my blog.
it wasnt me dont want to update but Holiday is really that boring.
no plan. no outing. no FUN.
everyday stuck at home facing my lappy only, what can i write?

no interesting thing happen these few week,
but i guess its the time i should write something
not an event or an outing.
just some personal feelings that i wanna share out at here. my space.

for the first time ever, i felt very empty and i dont know to react.
what do i mean by empty? which mean, no one really in my heart now.
normally, i have crush or guys that i'm interest in but these few weeks,
i felt really EMPTY. i dont have any feelings to anyone.
i'm actually someone that cannot live without love ( kinda over say like this )
not really will die but i chase love non stop, i never stop loving someone.
and after i get rid of someone, the next day i found a new one. i am people like this, you may say i'm flower heart but if i really get into a relationship i'm serious about it.

but recently, i felt really EMPTY.
i guess i can live without love now LOL
or maybe i dont wanna fall in love again. just for now. i wanna concentrate studies and i maybe can find someone better in Uni or College.

so i wanna share out my personal feelings and experience or stories that i know. which is related to LOVE thingy.

so....

i start to understand what is Love since i'm 13 years old. yup, Form 1 but i didn't felt anyone before, which mean i have crush only ( no BF TT ). those were the time i'm so damn PURE.
Pure than anyone in nowadays 13 years old KIDS.
to my surprise, most of them already lost their first love, first kiss or date or maybe Virginity. OMG
== i start to approach Sex during form 3 and really know What it sex during form 5,
i don't know i'm really that pure or kids nowadays learn things fast like that.
and marriage in the years or 15/16 ?!!!!!!!!!
WORLD nowadays? KIDS nowadays?

in western countries, i believe virginity may be nothing for a teen but in asian, i guess virginity is still important ba?????
at least for me it is. maybe my cousin and parents teach me well in these.

i'm still consider as pure now, okay....consider la not really pure ==
because in my opinion, girls should lose their virginity after they get married.
not after they're in a relationship. isn't that right?
my cousin told me that all boys are like that,
they will try their luck and ask for it (sex), if their partner let them then they go for it. if their partner dont want then some boys will respect the girls or some will argue for it. LOL?

this may be one of the reason i don't wanna PakTor now. i don't know how to handle it if my future bf ask for this== i will sure reject but those awkward moment. /.\ YERRRRRRRR X BOLEH TAHAN!!!
i can accept kiss and hug only. hahahaha! so closed minded. but i'm just protecting myself.
no one know what will happen after those things happen right? who will take that Responsibility? not that you will get married with me after i'm pregnant and that means you take that responsibility already! how about future life? get married because of responsibility then after your child grown up, you divorce because you dont love each other any more ?
it doesnt mean that 2 people get married because of love will NOT divorce but isnt marriage are meant for adults? MATURE adults. those that plan for their future. their kids and education and long long more.
not for 2 teenager that get married for responsibility. right??

Sorry, i'm too far from my topic already /.\
tomorrow continue! i'm tired already! should sleep now!! sorry for typo because i just type out based on my feelings~!

Good Night!

P/S ; i changes my blog templates and background already! Like it? :D
Christmas FEEL ♥ 

十月。悲伤

不知不觉就考完 TRIAL 了，
STPM 很快的来着了

今天 很懒惰的没去学校
睡了一整天 也想了一整天
说好了今天要读书的 可是真的没心情

整天的心情都一样 一直想哭 真的很想哭 但哭不出
这个月里 才过了 12 天 ，我却伤心了 12 天
为读书而烦，为朋友而烦，为家里而烦 还有 为他而哭

那天 Sue Ern 跟我说 她明白了 心碎 心痛 还有 没有了心 的 滋味
我其实很明白 因为 我体验不少
尤其是今年 对着他 我不懂他在想什么 也不知道他怎样想

有时候 他会一直看着我 偷偷得跟着我
我不懂是真还是假 可是 很多朋友 都这么觉得
我怎么可能没留意到呢？我知道阿 可是我不敢想
我怕 希望越大，失望越大
可是朋友都一直说 是真的 而且很明显



她们每说一次，我就敢敢得想一次
然后去找他聊天 问他问题 还有去留意他 STALK 他
可是每次 都失望
他明明是 online 的 可是他没回我，
他明明是 看到了 我的信息 可是他没回我，
然后 就跟自己说  “他不回就算，别找他 也别理他了”
可是过了 5分钟，还是死死的去找他
真的很笨，没用！

其实我知道的，他是不可能喜欢我啊
是我想太多 真的很多了
也许他留意的人 是其他人 是我身边的人吧
绝对不是我

真的很够了，不想继续这样
答应了自己，不会再伤害自己
可是没办法做到 真的很失望

其实我要求的不多，
只想有人疼
有人关心
知道我说 “没事” 的时候 就是我很难过的时候
回来哄我
就够了

我没有说过要一个很帅的 或 有特别的条件的人
只要是疼我的就好啊

每当我看见身边的朋友 有男友关心 有男友弄她开心 时，
我真的真的 很 羡慕
可是他.......
除了每天让我哭一次，就没了

只能说 我不够美 不够完美 不够好
他看不上我

。

。

。

。

我对自己承诺过，

伤心 就要哭出来

哭完 就睡个好觉

   醒了 就会没事咯！

我其实很简单而已，

你对我好 我就会对你更好，

你对我不好 我会双倍的还给你。

喜欢就喜欢 讨厌就讨厌 ，

开心就笑 伤心就哭

听了 这首歌 就哭了。。 ：]
舒服多了 。
是时候 读书了
用这一个假期 忘记他

逞强 萧亚轩

如果听实话只会更伤

宁愿将你的谎话当作善良

反正结局是这样

晓得细节又怎样

想好聚好散完美伪装

可是被你的拥抱击溃眼眶

不愿成全不想原谅

但自尊太好强

最怕旧情人像怜悯的眼光

爱的太逞强

无论多眷恋也不祈求不勉强

不爱我的我不想讲得洒脱却感伤

总是爱的太逞强

怎么你竟让我不能忘不能放痛还想

戴上了墨镜隔绝目光

然后戴上了耳机紧贴悲伤

到人群里去流浪

也不一个人在家

越苦的情歌越要敢唱

回忆最满的地方坐一晚上

不要埋藏才能释放

虽然痛会很长

爱不会留下太容易疗的伤

爱的太逞强

无论多眷恋也不祈求不勉强

不爱我的我不想讲得洒脱却感伤

总是爱的太逞强

怎么你竟让我不能忘不能放痛还想

爱的太逞强

无论多眷恋也不祈求不勉强

不爱我的我不想讲得洒脱却感伤

总是爱的太逞强

怎么你竟让我不能忘不能放痛还想

心理。的一些话

this post will be a very rojak post because mixed with mandarin & english.
for your information : please remember that i come from a Sekolah Kebangsaan [ sk ] which mean i did not learn Chinese ever since i born ( actually i got learn before at kindergarten but i remember 1 2 3 only ~.~ ) so don't complain about how sucks my mandarin is in this particular post :p
and i learn how to speak & read Chinese during Form 3, thanks to my friends bell ~ ( yala yala, you very geng but don't zilian at there~! faster press [love it] LAU XIAO LIN :p )

so please 体谅 me. hope don't have too much mistake ><
and this is MY Chinese LEVEL. Actually i'm kinda proud la....
from don't know how to read & see chinese character until now. can write a whole post in CHINESE! TT so 感动 ！SUPPORT SUPPORT ah :p

enjoy my emo post ba! xP

------------------------------------------------------------------

我很花心也很专一，为什么我会这样说呢？

其实我也不懂。

我这个人很奇怪，在感情里很混乱

今天能爱你爱到要生要死，明天却能忘了你是谁。

不是说三心两意，

只不过 感觉来了就真的来了，怎样挡也挡不住

可是感觉没了，也真的没了，留也留不住

在我很小的时候，我已经开始发白日梦

不停的想 跟未来的那个人会怎样会做些什么。

可是越大就会发现，梦跟真实的世界是不一样的。

爱情也不是跟想像中的容易。

不是说 喜欢就能，

不是说 想要就能得到

不是说 相爱就能在一起

不是说 付出了就会有回报

不是说 在一起了就能到永远

我没有想过 分了 就真的分了。

也没得回头。我以前以为遇见了对的人，就能永远一起，不会分开

可是 我忘了 两个不一样的人 走在一起 会有问题，失败解决问题 就只好分手

我看见很多人，

明明是相爱 却不能在一起

明明不登对 却能白头到老

明明还爱着 却要放手离开

明明不爱了 却要勉强一起

明明没希望 却不舍得放手

每个人对爱情有不同的看法，

有些觉得 信任 是最重要

又有些觉得 相爱 就可以

而我觉得 两个人一起 最重要的是开心

有了对方 会感到 开心幸福

没了对方 会觉得 少了些东西 

只有遇见对的人 一起是开心的 那就可以了

以前 朋友 常会问 "在你们心目中，最想要怎样的对象?"

小的时候 会想要 帅的，疼我的，高的，利害读书，能常常陪我 & many more

可是现在大了 想要的却是 两个字 《感觉》

我觉得 想要的 不一定会得到那样的，

不想要的 更加有可能会得到

不可能说他不是你想要的 那就要分手啊

所以 感觉 大完！

你永远都不懂 未来的那个会是怎样

可是 感觉来了，一切都不重要

因为真的爱了

也许 感觉不是一切 也不现实。但 享受那时候的快乐和幸福 不就很完美了吗？

不要期待得太多，顺其自然

惊喜 永远都好过 失望 :]

有时，看见朋友有了另一半 这么幸福开心

我也会突然很想要一个 来疼我 弄我开心

可是我知道这一切 都勉强不来 ( 勉强没幸福 ) 

只好耐心的等待 

okay la! i wanna offline and go eat my pizza hut wahaha!

thanks for reading this and remember to support a bit :p

Don't forget to click at my nuffnang ads yarh !

good night & buai! 

Miss You

damn it! i guess i too miss him liao~
so when i listen to this song i'm so touched & its all i felt now TT

Westlife Miss You [ click here! ]

along, i put the lyric together

the lyric meant so much to me.

aiyo! i'm falling to him so much d hahhahahha

going insane - -

enjoy!! i love westlife once, now too! but not as addicted as to JAY CHOU! :D

I can't sleep, I just can't breathe
when your shadow is all over me baby
don't wanna be, a fool in your eyes
'cause what we had was built on lies


and when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say


I don't wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don't wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
I miss you...


what would it take, for you to see
to make you understand that I'll
always believe
you and I, can make it through
and I still know, I can't get over you


'cause when our love seems to fade away
listen to me hear what I say


I don't wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don't wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
oh baby I miss you, I do...


'cause when our love always
fades away
listen to me hear what I say


I don't wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don't wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart


I miss you, I miss you
I do...


I don't wanna feel
the way that I do
I just wanna be
right here with you
I don't wanna see
see us apart
I just wanna say it straight from my heart
oh baby I miss you, I do...

MONDAY COMING !!!!!

argh! tomorrow Monday again! i still remember when xiao lin say " finally its FRIDAY! we can rest"
why now so damn fast turn to Monday again?!! wtf

actually i wanna go school tomorrow so much!!! but after yesterday, he told me one bad news, i don't wanna go already  :[
.
.
.
recently, i'm falling in love with someone! don't tell him! SHHHHH~!
haha... actually i didn't thought that I'll like him!
i went to borrow something with him & then my friend start teasing me with him. so *poof* he visit my mind every single day! and i start to notice that he's cute & he's my type. [ still didn't thought that he'll be someone i like ! ] then my friends keep on repeat his name again and again! then i finally realise that i fallen for him. they way he smile to me is too attractive. cannot resist it! and I'm so damn shy now when i look at him. >.<

its been a long time since i like someone . i mean, fall for someone so seriously. i don't know if one day I'll forget him and be with someone else or we'll both get to be together, happily ever after lol . haih! when i like someone, eventually I'll think of marriage & my unborn babies lol
like having romantic dates or how we spend time together! haha *shy*
when i be with someone, i wanna plan my future with him, i wanna spend my whole life with him.
i don't know if he is THE ONE, or will he like me or do we get the chance to be together. but right now -.- he keep on appear on my mind. i damn miss him!
so many days cant see him, feel dying!! >.< how ar?

okay lah, boring with my emo feeling already! lets change topic!!!!

- went to library today and saw someone == damn dislike him coz he smoke haih
- then my mom force me to go home TT i wanna study leh,
- eat my asam laksa and then stick at my laptop writing these lol haha

 and took beautiful pictures and edit it gao gao hahahah!!! i edit the colours only. * addicted*

 haha! I'm so pretty :X 

 say hello to gucci! i know her name sound so expensive haha but he's very intelligent i tell you! he bark so loud when there's a thieves went into my aunt house ! thanks to dear gucci they are safe! lol

i just wave my hand a little and here she come standing beside me! awww !
yes, she's not as cute as those other dogs that all of you seen before but she is very adorable to me! love her lotsssss ! :D

help me click my nuffnang advert yarh !!

thanks in advance :D

things i learned today :  do you know eating papaya & pineapple can help for digestion?! if you're in constipation [ sembelit / 便秘 ] eat these two fruits can help to recover you digestive system! papaya can make your skin fairer too! :D 

damn boring la! any blog intro? i wanna read blog leh! 

lazy study == wtf

p/s : I Miss Him so MUCH AH!!!! :[  dreaming of one day you'll confess to me telling me that you like me too :O haih day dreaming again! haha >.<

p/s 2 : today xiao lin show me a picture of her bf & her at somewhere taking nice picture!!!! like the background is sunset and they are black! holding hands ! so damn sweet! i want too!!!! :[

fine ! i go dream now ! with him! ! haha 

babai :P

Badminton Event

after finish school, all my group member [ some didn't attend TT ] went to library to study!
got one indian or chirstian guy shhhh us cause we too loud already , actually we're not that loud lo!
so pek cek haha! after lunch went for badminton with my pre u friends!!! :D

that kah ming so damn pro! still jia jia at there say don't know play! lol haha
this time so special. got very tak sangka geh things happen!! OMG! Can't believe they couple already! :X
btw, gong xi gong xi! shall keep as secret first as their relationship count as illegal now haha!

 my teh ais in my bottle haha!! XD

 i don't know what they talking but i love to talk to them! i got friends that can share my secret already!! thanks sue ern & wan jing TT

 the couple haha. blur blur picture...... xD

 they say they very fat wor! ==

 yong jian & zhong li xD

another unexpected things is......

 my 心星 haha!!
clement say that the guy i'm attracted to have feeling towards me too!
and he keep asking more bout me! [ i so happy & shock that time!!!! ]
i'm like can't believe that he will have those feel with me too haha
actually i still not believing lo. he treat me damn cool --
so disappointed leh! he don't want choi me now TT
i guess i imagine too much! i don't want trust you lo clement!!!!
i won't believe it unless he told me himself haha! [ impossible things to do! ]

suppose wanna give him this star de but fail. not brave enough. haha! one day i will make sure that its in your hand~ waseh so yeng xD

i'm form 6 now, i should be more mature i guess! i don't know i should think of these things or not lo. i'm confusing. i'm so happy when clement told me that he ask bout me! those feeling cant express out! but when he treat me like that i felt weird. and disappointed. i guess they all think too much and get the wrong line. haih！
suan ba! i think i concentrate in studies more 1st la..... no time dating ah [ if he date me i confirm go haha ]

things i learned today : his smile very attractive & cute! i like how he smile at me. it make me smile and he make my day :] ( so lazy to go search for new things. haha! this consider as what i learn today? XP

help me click my nuffnang advert yah! 

thanks in advance :D

Love you guys!

Love mr.cute haha lol

so babai!

Relationship

GOD! I wanna write this post looooooooooooooooong long time ago.
and i know i need to write this before my homework and notes get increased. ( I'm not done with them yet!! TT )

okay! the tittle : Long Distance Relationship. Cheh cheh XP
actually its about me. the relationship i always wanted.
since I'm small, i mean when i know whats love is about. i always dream of getting a long distance relationship. i want my 1st boyfriend become my husband then my child's father and be together forever after. BUT my parents & friends keep telling me that I'm dreaming. because this kind of relationship don't exist. ( it do exist but not at this era anymore. :[ )

i know but i still don't believe, till i found a guy that i thought is the 'one' then he hurt me and break with me. THE END. My dreams end just like this. i didn't cry much but I'm so disappointed with my self. not longer, i become worst, i try to fall in love with every single guy i meet and flirt with them. Yes! i did that and i get hurt a lot too. cause I'm putting REAL feelings to them and all they do is just playing and hurting me. i thought they were serious but they wasn't. so i told my self not to believe any guy i meet anymore. i don't want any broken promise and stupid promised like i love you forever.

i seriously don't understand myself. each time i get hurt, i told myself not to let anyone hurt myself again but then i go and flirt and hurt myself again. i guess this is a curse. it's like a cycle. happen again and again.
 i trust horoscope a lot. and it said i will meet a lot of guy this year but no relationship will begin or last long. SHIT. this is so true. lots of guy i meet this year and they confess to me ,ask me to trust them as they wont hurt me as how previous people did to me. i don't trust them but they stay beside me and treat me really good. but till the day i thought i could accept them and trust them, they said its not real. its just a lie! a lie again! just a game !!!!!
why can this things happen?

its not the end of this curse yet. there is a guy i meet last year. he's smaller than me a year. the 1st day i meet him, he say he like me and he wont give up me.
i know its not real. haha. so i ignore him. besides i don't like guy that smaller than me, they're childish and immature. but he really didn't give up me. he always there to cheer me up when i'm upset. every single time i cried, he is there for me. i don't know why but this really happen. so i asked my self, is it okay to be with someone that is smaller than me? i don't know but i feel happy each time he talk to me. he is like cheerful and happy all day long. and i want someone like that too. i guess its okay about the height and age. besides, no one perfect right?

each time he said i love you, i like you or etc. my heart beat fast and i really fell for it. we start to chat more and more. every time i upset, i'll find him and he'll solve my problems. he seem all fine. then he often ask me bout being his gf or etc things. I'm happy and felt worry too. we know each other about a year and a half ++ already.

so one day, middle of the night, we chat again. he ask me the same things again. i wanna say YES but end up saying " stop playing! don't lied to me anymore! such games is not fun & playing people feelings is not good at all! " , weird right? but i hopes he said that he isn't playing. he really wanna be with me etc things. but you know what i get for reply? i really couldn't believe my eye for what i saw. he said sorry. yes he said sorry and this mean he isn't serious at all. HE IS SORRY FOR PLAYING ME! i cried. i cried a lot. how can he play me for so long? and how can I'm so stupid get to play with so long? i still find him the next day, hoping all this isn't real but he never treat me the same anymore. he reply me as a friend. and very cold.

now I same school with him. i get to see him sometimes. this few day i saw him after school everyday. but all i do is pretend nothing. and i pretend i didn't see him. it really hurt. this time i really cant expect that someone can use their own feeling to cheat someone. NEVER MIND! its over now. i already get over it! i'm cheer up again!! hahaha :D

to all the jerk that lied me :

One Day! i will found someone that really do love me and treasure me a lot. be with me forever and ever.
he like me as who i am. love my inner beauty not the outward. treat me good. and marry me then.
i will find someone to tease me but love me always. play stupid games with me. watch cartoon with me and sing Jay Chou's song to me. he wont look at other girls because he have me already. he will buy me things i like and spend his day with me. we will celebrate our birthday and Christmas together. he'll take care me when I'm sick and he'll see me in my worst and say I'm beautiful. we will hug together and watch movies. when i cried he will cheer me and when I'm happy he will share my happiness. we will learn and grow old together. went vacation together. he will cook me food and treat me the best. we will have good memories together. and one day he will be my guy and together happily ever after. like those fairy tales!!!

its still a long way to go before we meet each other. we will still dating the wrong person before we meet each other. then one day he will see this post with me. that time i will be smiling seeing this post. not like now crying when i writing this. shit. lol

don't worry babe, we will meet soon. the day i meet you i will know that you're the one i wanna find!!!!!!!

before that i can only wait and enjoy my single life :]

this is a very emo post. haih. damn emo now!!!! hahaha cham. mental problem tim :[
off now and back to my homework life. buai!!