The Beginning Of Nightmare

tomorrow will be the 1st day of exam for my STPM semester 2!!
too many mixed feeling hence i think i should spill all out or i'm afraid i'll die T^T

this sem isnt that easy and a lot of people say STPM easy only, won't die and can score. DAMN YOU! if it's easy then why you go for college. ARGH

STPM made me learn a lot, relationship, social, time management ( still SUCKS ) and also many.
i also understand that in this modern world, everyone somehow got their evil side. even me. ya i know, like sometimes i wont willing to share my knowledge as i scare they will be more clever than me but then i remember someone said that we should share our knowledge as this will make us more wise and mature in thinking. so ever since that, i try to share what i know to all my friends and try not to keep any secret or info from them.
even though i did that but i realise no one will treat you the same back. they somehow just ignore me or sometimes tell me wrong information.

then i realise, no matter how good is somehow, they may also be a devil to achieve what they want including sacrifice me :)
fine, i understand. this year i got a new quote.

everything happen for a reason. its okay to fall and sometimes it help you to grow up

in the same times im afraid too, as if i think everyone will have their devil side, i'll start to be alone and at last i'll have no one beside me and really forever alone T^T
>< actually its nothing different now. i cant find someone to talk to now haih. can only keep to myself and motivate me myself. tough :(

okay!! need to be strong. there is still a long path for me to walk. i'll overcome all the obstacle !!


Be alone can help you understand yourself more and be independence ;)
PEGGIE FIGHTING!!
SEM 2 !!!!!! I'LL DEFEAT YOU!

tmr will be Account 1st T^T
GOD BLESS ME PLS!

4 more days to freedom (temporary freedom TT)

Life's Obstacle

Just realise that i didn't publish that god damn post !! T^T
i wrote a blogpost few weeks ago just to like giving it an update and clear up some spider web.
and i realise it only saved as draft :(
Sorry bloggie~didn't meant to keep you no update.

its just because i'm too busy. thats the reason i use the most this year.
but its so true. i don't know why, but i have loads of homework to be done and now there's a project undergoing. really make me stress and tired.
been cried so many time because of the stress and homework. soooooo tired.

i dont even have the time to blog. the CNY or others small event or maybe food and normal updates ( relationship too haha )

so i think i shall clear up the spider web tonight! even its 1.45am now. haha so hardworking TT
nothing much to update because i cant update the CNY post now or any new event as there is too much photo need to upload.

lets say somethings about today.
i have MUET today. an english test that consist of 4 element la. done the speaking last month and today i deal with the other 3 reading, writing and listening. most of my fren said its hard and may consider for a resit on July but for me, i think its kinda easy but also hard. ( no idea what it mean, just that it is hard but then not as hard as i thought but also not easy as i thought too ~.~)

i get BAND 4 for both trials last year and last month. i target for the real MUET too and if i failed, i guess i'll go for resit. i don't have that much confidence and i just hope for the best lah. Life, cant even be predicted. so just hope for the best and no need to waste RM 100 to resit again. still, i think there is a high percentage of need to resit :((

this year really need to concentrate at studies or else TT i'll regret for the rest of my life. fuu~
yea thats mean no relationship :(

this is the last year i'm attending school and wear uniform :( i really wanna have a boyfriend this time haha. can study together and can spend much more time together. haih. the last year, wont have much difference i guess :((
at least tell me that someone had a crush on me? :DD or left me a love letter on my table? :DD ( watch too much drama and comic -.- )

okay back to reality, i guess this year need to study hard and no relationship ( wont have also :[ )
if anyone like me tell me la XDD haha ~.~ okay okay im back to the cruel world once again.

need to go and do my assignment already TT LATE NIGHT also need to do haih

_______________________________________________________________________________

i Get a new camera this year and i like to take picture actually ^^

but not consider as pro. just took some picture that i like. :D

 this is just some stem tha being cut down haha

 using one of the effect ( selection colour )

 this is one of the photo i love the most!!

 yan yan #1

 yan yan #2

 yan yan #3

i like this picture too :D

and this is the last one! very nice and special right?

there it goes! its me! very pretty ahahaa! but too bad only photo look pretty :(

such a waste haha :PP

OMG! its 2.46am!! i need to go rush my assignment lo! good night and good bye

幸福的定义？

今年的第一个Post就写了这个。tmd sien 哈哈

每个人对于幸福的定义都不一样，

有些 觉得 幸福是能跟自己最爱的人在一起

有些 觉得 幸福是有人疼爱自己关心自己

有些 觉得 幸福是简简单单的过生活

我却。。。

只想看见身边的人开心快乐平安，

我就很幸福了

虽然我也想有人疼有人爱，
可是这些不是只是说说这么容易
爱一个人需要很大的勇气，是一辈子的承诺
所以，看见身边人开心，我就会觉得幸福了

（其实每天能听到杰伦的歌就很开心哈哈哈）

以前的我，不会这么想

我想要人疼我关心我留在我身边

每一样东西都要跟人家比

很渴望要个人守护我，爱我 

所以会乱乱做出很多让自己受伤的东西

不懂是长大了 还是 伤多了

变得会停下来 想一想，再继续走下去

也没有以前这么渴望爱情（哈哈）

不懂是不是太多功课了 ，没有时间去想

走得这么快，我累了

我想走慢点，看清楚先 

虽然还会羡慕朋友（你啦BELL）

可是明白了 这些东西不能勉强

加上今年很重要 

表姐和表姐的朋友 都说今年 别交往先

等到近了大学才交都不迟 现在专心读书 考好STPM

其实功课都多到要死了

真的没时间去想这么多

（所以没时间来写blog！不是因为懒惰哦！BELL才是懒惰哈哈）

难得今天有时间来这里说说下最近的心情

其实很想update有照片的post！可是真的没时间！

新年吧！嘻嘻（好过bell 呵呵）

「我不敢哭        

因为我不想认输」

这首歌一直影响我，也很对

可是，不是对于爱情拉

是不是累了也不能哭？

因为不想认输，不想把自己最弱的一面给人看到

所以只能自己忍受，或根本没有人愿意分担这一切呢？

反正都习惯了，我不怕自己一个走下去

就算再痛也不能放弃！！！

STPM冲啊！！

微笑。加油

今天周杰伦的『十二新作』到了！！

等了一个月！终于来了！

超开心的说！

兴奋 \ ˚▽˚ /

加油加油加油！

新的一年 新的开始 就听 十二新作 

嘻嘻 

（‐＾▽＾‐）

Love?

Its been quite a time since i last update my blog.
it wasnt me dont want to update but Holiday is really that boring.
no plan. no outing. no FUN.
everyday stuck at home facing my lappy only, what can i write?

no interesting thing happen these few week,
but i guess its the time i should write something
not an event or an outing.
just some personal feelings that i wanna share out at here. my space.

for the first time ever, i felt very empty and i dont know to react.
what do i mean by empty? which mean, no one really in my heart now.
normally, i have crush or guys that i'm interest in but these few weeks,
i felt really EMPTY. i dont have any feelings to anyone.
i'm actually someone that cannot live without love ( kinda over say like this )
not really will die but i chase love non stop, i never stop loving someone.
and after i get rid of someone, the next day i found a new one. i am people like this, you may say i'm flower heart but if i really get into a relationship i'm serious about it.

but recently, i felt really EMPTY.
i guess i can live without love now LOL
or maybe i dont wanna fall in love again. just for now. i wanna concentrate studies and i maybe can find someone better in Uni or College.

so i wanna share out my personal feelings and experience or stories that i know. which is related to LOVE thingy.

so....

i start to understand what is Love since i'm 13 years old. yup, Form 1 but i didn't felt anyone before, which mean i have crush only ( no BF TT ). those were the time i'm so damn PURE.
Pure than anyone in nowadays 13 years old KIDS.
to my surprise, most of them already lost their first love, first kiss or date or maybe Virginity. OMG
== i start to approach Sex during form 3 and really know What it sex during form 5,
i don't know i'm really that pure or kids nowadays learn things fast like that.
and marriage in the years or 15/16 ?!!!!!!!!!
WORLD nowadays? KIDS nowadays?

in western countries, i believe virginity may be nothing for a teen but in asian, i guess virginity is still important ba?????
at least for me it is. maybe my cousin and parents teach me well in these.

i'm still consider as pure now, okay....consider la not really pure ==
because in my opinion, girls should lose their virginity after they get married.
not after they're in a relationship. isn't that right?
my cousin told me that all boys are like that,
they will try their luck and ask for it (sex), if their partner let them then they go for it. if their partner dont want then some boys will respect the girls or some will argue for it. LOL?

this may be one of the reason i don't wanna PakTor now. i don't know how to handle it if my future bf ask for this== i will sure reject but those awkward moment. /.\ YERRRRRRRR X BOLEH TAHAN!!!
i can accept kiss and hug only. hahahaha! so closed minded. but i'm just protecting myself.
no one know what will happen after those things happen right? who will take that Responsibility? not that you will get married with me after i'm pregnant and that means you take that responsibility already! how about future life? get married because of responsibility then after your child grown up, you divorce because you dont love each other any more ?
it doesnt mean that 2 people get married because of love will NOT divorce but isnt marriage are meant for adults? MATURE adults. those that plan for their future. their kids and education and long long more.
not for 2 teenager that get married for responsibility. right??

Sorry, i'm too far from my topic already /.\
tomorrow continue! i'm tired already! should sleep now!! sorry for typo because i just type out based on my feelings~!

Good Night!

P/S ; i changes my blog templates and background already! Like it? :D
Christmas FEEL ♥