相信 命运 还是 自己？
I don't think i can trust myself. SERIOUSLY!
Something seem wrong with my eyes, my heart and my brain...
Whatever i feel, i see and i think..its wrong. DAMN IT.
Why cant it be accurate for even once?
Things like this actually happen more than once, or twice or thousand of times already but i still can fall in it every single time. why so stupid? ==
same pattern somemore. Tears never dried though.
just thinking back already made me cry.
Peggie, are you sure you wanna experience all these all over again?
you know that this year, things just wont work out right?
why is it so hard for me to find you..
or..did 'you' exist before?
sometimes, i thought there is hope and that person just seem like someone that will react the same. but in the end its not.
BELIEVE ME Peggie!!
every things isnt real at all...
if you think its real, look back and you'll know.
tears and sleepless night...you wanna go back? really?
21 November 2014
06 November 2014
Again...?
I guess everything happen for a reason?
We learn and grow up from every incident that occur...
The more cruel, the more upsetting, the more hurtful one taught you the best lesson.
I always believe that everything that happen will benefits me in their own way. We learned, we grow, and we understand more.
still....it hurts a lot.
No matter its related to family, friendship, relationship, studies or the society, it actually leave a great impact insides me. I'm actually not a strong person, but i always hide my weak side and people tend to think I'm a strong one. The one that can be independence and can rely to themselves. So I've been left alone most of the time as they thought i can actually hold myself.
The truth is, i cant. I cried a lot and sometimes i wish there is someone that i can rely to too. Forcing out such personalities really make me feel sad. Where i can get hurt easily but people thought i can handle it ( trying to fake a confident and fearless look) In the end i can only suffer it myself.
This also make me became a good listener. I tend to listen to people stories and problems and help them to solve it but when i'm the one that faced problems, no one is there for me as they thought i can handle it and perhaps i even look like no problems at all. Eventually, i also don't dare to seek for advises.
So, there is so many lesson that i learned in the past 20 years and.... some even repeating. Still i don't learn a things and continue to did the same mistake. Wondering why my 6th sense is so poor. While others one is so accurate, mine always 100% wrong. when i thought how things ought to be, it always the opposite one. Same as feelings...i just feeling so stupid. To be involved into things like this.
Why is it the same things happening over and over again but i still dont learn the lesson?
Why that i still jump into the same hole when i know there's a hole?
Why can't i learn to be smart?
Why is it so hard to control my feelings?
Why must things turn out like this?
Why ... is it me to get fool like this?
I just don't understand why that i'm so serious in every single things.
Perhaps its all my fault. Or its the right path to obtain success and .....happiness?
Or I don't deserve happiness.....?
We learn and grow up from every incident that occur...
The more cruel, the more upsetting, the more hurtful one taught you the best lesson.
I always believe that everything that happen will benefits me in their own way. We learned, we grow, and we understand more.
still....it hurts a lot.
No matter its related to family, friendship, relationship, studies or the society, it actually leave a great impact insides me. I'm actually not a strong person, but i always hide my weak side and people tend to think I'm a strong one. The one that can be independence and can rely to themselves. So I've been left alone most of the time as they thought i can actually hold myself.
The truth is, i cant. I cried a lot and sometimes i wish there is someone that i can rely to too. Forcing out such personalities really make me feel sad. Where i can get hurt easily but people thought i can handle it ( trying to fake a confident and fearless look) In the end i can only suffer it myself.
This also make me became a good listener. I tend to listen to people stories and problems and help them to solve it but when i'm the one that faced problems, no one is there for me as they thought i can handle it and perhaps i even look like no problems at all. Eventually, i also don't dare to seek for advises.
So, there is so many lesson that i learned in the past 20 years and.... some even repeating. Still i don't learn a things and continue to did the same mistake. Wondering why my 6th sense is so poor. While others one is so accurate, mine always 100% wrong. when i thought how things ought to be, it always the opposite one. Same as feelings...i just feeling so stupid. To be involved into things like this.
Why is it the same things happening over and over again but i still dont learn the lesson?
Why that i still jump into the same hole when i know there's a hole?
Why can't i learn to be smart?
Why is it so hard to control my feelings?
Why must things turn out like this?
Why ... is it me to get fool like this?
I just don't understand why that i'm so serious in every single things.
Perhaps its all my fault. Or its the right path to obtain success and .....happiness?
Or I don't deserve happiness.....?
01 November 2014
NOVEMBER !!!
不知不觉 已经十一月了！
Here it comes! MY MONTH!! wahaha
Today it's the first day of November! It's also the day after submission of project 4 !!
So happy and glad! It's a bit rush when doing this project as i actually have only 4 DAYS to complete a 3 weeks work~! ( I'm not a last minute person lah! crash with mid-sem break and others kind of problem so only start up late! ) kinda proud of myself XD
so the end product turn out to be a poor one but still consider okay lah hahahha!
So....1st of November also mean that I'm already in USM for 2 WHOLE MONTHS! OMG! Cant believe it ^___^
so many things happened and i knew a lots of new friends here! All with different and special personalities! Still they're very good and all of us still can communicate well!
Life in HBP still the same, the busy hectic life...
everyday project project project...assignment...test....
STILL ITS AMAZING !! I still very glad to be a HBPian XD
COUNTDOWN 10 DAYS to MY BIRTHDAY!
this year gonna spend my birthday without my families!!
for the first time ever for the past 20 years! Can't believe it T^T
Besides, my birthday is also the same day as Academic trip. So this year gonna spend it with friends and also spend it in PENANG & PORT DICKSON (morning only haha). Hope this year birthday can pass happily lor,,,as i remember, my previous one is quite happy but i'm sick and also disappointed with somethings. Haih. It's my 20th birthday leh! really hope to have a good memories this year!
WOW! 2.50am already! (still washing clothes @@)
Gonna go sleep! Tomorrow gonna go out with friends ! Going for food hunt hahaha! CANT WAIT!!
Here it comes! MY MONTH!! wahaha
Today it's the first day of November! It's also the day after submission of project 4 !!
So happy and glad! It's a bit rush when doing this project as i actually have only 4 DAYS to complete a 3 weeks work~! ( I'm not a last minute person lah! crash with mid-sem break and others kind of problem so only start up late! ) kinda proud of myself XD
so the end product turn out to be a poor one but still consider okay lah hahahha!
So....1st of November also mean that I'm already in USM for 2 WHOLE MONTHS! OMG! Cant believe it ^___^
so many things happened and i knew a lots of new friends here! All with different and special personalities! Still they're very good and all of us still can communicate well!
Life in HBP still the same, the busy hectic life...
everyday project project project...assignment...test....
STILL ITS AMAZING !! I still very glad to be a HBPian XD
COUNTDOWN 10 DAYS to MY BIRTHDAY!
this year gonna spend my birthday without my families!!
for the first time ever for the past 20 years! Can't believe it T^T
Besides, my birthday is also the same day as Academic trip. So this year gonna spend it with friends and also spend it in PENANG & PORT DICKSON (morning only haha). Hope this year birthday can pass happily lor,,,as i remember, my previous one is quite happy but i'm sick and also disappointed with somethings. Haih. It's my 20th birthday leh! really hope to have a good memories this year!
WOW! 2.50am already! (still washing clothes @@)
Gonna go sleep! Tomorrow gonna go out with friends ! Going for food hunt hahaha! CANT WAIT!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)