暧昧? Good-bye Y :)

27th October 2014

here it goes...
it's been almost a year? that i keep my feeling toward you.
we used to talk a lot and chat a lot. Ever since 2009?
i thought one day, our relationship might go into a proper one...i hope
Then, things happen and we gradually became more stranger but there is still a connection between us.

until one year ago, we became more and more close to each other, and i thought if i confess, i might have the chance. BUT i didn't. I remain silent and let this relationship just go on...
then, things change and you suddenly became more cooler towards me and things became so awkward. You never replied my message and never even wish me happy birthday anymore. I don't even know what happen. I told myself, after STPM examination, i wanna told you my feelings. still i dont have the gut and finally one day, i saw your picture with a girl. It's just a normal one but i felt different. Then i know, perhaps it is your girl and i guess its time for me to gave up.

You didn't said anything about your relationship. It's not even official. but i guess god wanna let me know the truth. I saw you two holding hand in the picture and you two look really sweet and happy.
I felt pain but i wish you the best for you too.

Today....i also found out that, before our conversation became cold, you're with her already. And then, you never even replied me anymore.
Perhaps, i don't even exist in your life before?
Perhaps, i'm just someone that pass by?
Perhaps, i'm just a toy?

We used to be close, closer than a friend but never exceed to couple.
but i guess, i just think too much?

这就是暧昧吧？不用承认，不用负责，不用认真
来的时候 很快，不知不觉 就开始
走的时候也很快， 不知不觉 就结束。
到底存在过吗？也不懂。

暧昧期 很快 很甜 很开心
也 很残忍，很痛苦 很伤

也许对的人还没出现吧，
可是就算出现了，我 还敢 对他有感觉吗？